Have an Olympic Tonic at The Chap Olympiad

London — 04 July 2012

I say! Jolly good show old chap

Since 1999, The Chap magazine has been championing the rights of the English gentleman. It seeks to reinstate such outmoded gestures as giving up one’s seat to a lady and regularly using a trouser press.

The Chap Olympiad is an annual event organised by the magazine, featuring well-dressed gentlemen competing in events such as butler baiting, umbrella jousting and moustache wrestling. We caught up with organiser and Editor of The Chap, Gustav Temple.

Why was The Chap Olympiad created?

As a way of providing a sporting tournament for chaps who can’t run for toffee, but are rather good at holding a brimming tumbler of G&T while stumbling into the rhododendrons.

What can we expect?

There are different track and field events on each day, and the interval entertainment differs: on day one, we have a demonstration of Bartitsu, the gentlemanly martial art using walking canes and umbrellas; on day two we have Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer. Also on day two only we have the Emergency Gin Tent, hosted by our two saucy nurses, the Flirtinis. Exhausted athletes will be borne on a stretcher and topped up with gin to revive them.

Track and field events with a difference

Sportswear strictly forbidden

Who can enter the competition?

Any gentleman who is suitably dressed and not wearing sportswear. Perspiration and trying too hard is also frowned upon.

How does a chap prepare?

He ensures he can maintain a lit pipe for hours on end; he makes his butler do a couple of laps around the garden with his master on his back, for the butler-racing event. He also ensures that his moustache is in prime condition for moustache wrestling.

What is your favourite chap event?

Umbrella Jousting, as it combines the courage of the mediaeval knight with the stiff upper lip of the stockbroker.

Umbrella jousting gentlemen use copies of The Daily Telegraph as a shield

What is your advice for chaps competing?

Pluck, courage and snappily angled trilbies.

Is it true chaps will perform events at the Olympic Stadium?

Yes, the rumours are true: we will be performing a scaled-down version of our Olympiad at the Olympic Park on 29th July and 3rd and 4th August. The British Olympic Committee clearly realises that our Olympiad is of much more interest to foreign visitors than boring old rowing or weight lifting.

What qualities make a good chap?

Impeccable dress, impeccable manners, a good set of whiskers, a wry smile, a rakishly raised eyebrow, fluent Latin, passable Arabic.